Tag Archives: friends

Dirty Old Man

The internet, blogging spaces especially, make me feel like a dirty old man. We’re going to completely ignore the fact that I am a dirty old man and focus on how young everyone else online seems to be.

I come across random blogs, start reading only to realise that the writer is in their 20s or 30s. I’ve joined interest groups on Dreamwidth and all the posts seem to be from younger ladies. I feel hesitant to start a conversation, to request to add them because I don’t know how they’d feel about a… (and I use the term loosely) more mature man reading their posts.

I try to imagine how I would feel if the situation was reversed; if I were that age and found out that someone old enough to be my father were wanting to read my blog. I think I’d feel quite awkward. I doubt I’d be interested in reading what they had to say.

Do I necessarily feel comfortable reading posts by someone young enough to be my son – if not younger than him. Am I opening myself up for completely inaccurate accusations of inappropriateness?

I did an interest search for over 60s but it was unsuccessful. I did a google search for ‘over 60s blogs’ and learned a hell of a lot about how to dress as a woman over 60 which I’m sure would be really useful were I of the female persuasion. I offered to send the links to an amused Samantha* and she shot me a look that would make a lesser person drop down dead.

Then again, does age really matter? Isn’t this whole thing about getting to meet people that I wouldn’t normally meet. Doesn’t science-fiction etc transcend barriers of age, gender, race, sexuality etc.

Or is my son right and I am ‘too old’ for this?

* Samantha is still many years from 60

By Any Other Name

Names are funny things. It’s the first thing we tell anyone about ourselves but in reality reveals absolutely nothing about us. And yet it used to be believed that the knowledge of someone’s name gave you power over them

Take my name, for example. My name is Jonathan but what does it actually mean? ‘God is gracious’ or ‘gift of Jehovah’ depending on who you ask. It’s the name given to me but it’s very rarely used. It’s on all official documentation of course but the only person who ever called me Jonathan was my mother – or Jonathan James if I was in trouble. My father called me John, and my elder brother called me JJ – and he’s the only person ever to call me that.

Most people know me as Jack. To my son, I’m Dad. According to my nephew, I’m ‘Unca Ack’. My wife calls me sweetheart. My girlfriend calls me ‘My J’. My ex usually refers to me as ‘that fucking bastard’. There’s my service buddies who still call me Commander.

I’m Jack.
But I’m more than that. I’m a father, a son, a brother and an uncle. I’m a husband, a boyfriend, a Dominant and a submissive.

It’s our connections to people, our relationships, our identities, our… titles for lack of a better word, who define who we are much more than just a simple identifier like our name.