A cruel and unusual punishment

I’m actually amused how ‘changing the wifi password’ so that Lucy & I can’t get online has become Samantha’s punishment of choice. She’s right that coming online during the day is what’s stopping us from completing our set tasks but even so. It makes me a sad pouty Jack.

We won’t even cover the sex ban.

I’m now allowed online of an evening as long as everything’s done during the day. Lucy still isn’t so if you’ve not seen her update in a while that’s why.

I’m playing catch up on my emails right now. I had over 100 and I’ve got it down to 60. Next up is catching up on anyone’s blogs.

Lesson learned. Work first, then play.

Things Jack learned about himself this last week – he does not like to be alone and gets lonely quite easily.

It’s been a weird old week with Lucy at her sister’s and Samantha at work. Samantha’s gone again today – to bring Lucy home – and they’ll be back later this afternoon and I am at a loss of things to do. The house is quiet and empty. I’ve not enjoyed rattling around it in on my own all week and I don’t know how Lucy did it all day, every day.

I ended up spending the latter half of the week out – at the library or at a coffee shop mostly… anywhere where there was human contact to be had. I thought about looking into volunteering opportunities. I may even have snuck into one or two of Samantha’s classes.

I always knew I was an extrovert and thrived on the company of other people but I had no idea how miserable it would make me to be on my own. I hope this is not an experience to be repeated anytime soon!

25 Questions

It’s a little before 6am on a Sunday morning, I’m full of cold, home alone and wide awake. The wide awake is mostly a combination of an empty bed and not breathing – but the home alone/empty bed is no related to having a cold.

Lucy’s sister Susan went into labour early, two beautiful girls born late Friday night. Amelia and Olivia (Millie and Vivi). Small but healthy as expected for being born 2 months early. Samantha has taken Lucy to be with them and will be back later this morning.

I’m killing the sleepless hours online and came across this 25 Questions survey posted by Life Of A Chickpea. Answering and sharing it seemed like a good idea.

1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? Closed. Leave them open and it’ll cast weird shadows and freak the dog out, or one of the cats will get in there.
2. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? Bullet journal layout idea
3. Do you sing in the shower? Yes I do. This morning the girls were very entertained by my rendition of Time To Say Goodbye
4. What inspires you? Passion
5. Would you bungee jump? ‘Would’? I have and it was great fun
6. Do you have any pets? We have four right now – two cats and two dogs. Samantha would have horses if she could/we had the land and I know Lucy wants rabbits so this may change
7. What book are you reading? Dan Brown – The Lost Symbol
8. Last book you read? Dan Brown – The Da Vinci Code. Jack re-reads Robert Landgon 2017
9. Are you a sports fan? Yes. I support Manchester City and my local team in football. I also enjoy rugby, ice hockey and formula 1 racing
10. Last Person You Talked To On The Phone? Samantha
11. Favourite foods? Roast beef, yorkshire pudding, roast potatoes, parsnip, broccoli, peas, carrots, mustard and gravy.
12. Mountain Hideaway or Beach House? Can I have a place on the beach with the mountains behind it? No? Oh just the beach house then
13. Last thing you listened to? Strauss – The Blue Danube
14. Growing up, which were you favourite cartoons? Oh God. Woody Woodpecker, The Flintstones, Yogi Bear, The Jetsons… I was a big Hanna Barbera fan
15. What are you listening to now? Birdsong from the garden
16. Relationship Status? In a committed poly triad
17. Biggest Fear? Losing my mind
18. Dream destination? I would love to experience Las Vegas
19. Are you in school? If so what are you studying? I’m thinking of taking some online classes in psychology
20. What is your favourite song at the moment? I don’t think I have a favourite per se. Bring Him Home from Les Miserables has been rattling around inside my skull recently.
21. Favourite Movie? Star Wars
22. Favourite color? Green.
23. Where do you want to be in 5 years? Alive
24. Batman or superman? Yes.
25. Who is your favourite villain? There’s so many good ones to chose from. Darth Vader, The Joker, Hal 9000, Voldemort, Moriarty, Red Skull, Loki, Ra’s Al Ghul, Magneto, Lex Luthor…

Polyamory and Me

I’m realising that one of the topics I’m going to end up talking about most is my girls and our relationship/s with each other. I’m also aware that it’s going to be misunderstood, misinterpreted so I’m going to come straight out and discuss it.

I have a wife and we have a girlfriend. And believe me, Lucy is very much Samantha’s girlfriend as much as she is mine. We are all three in a relationship together.

We are polyamorous.

Polyamory, as defined by the dictionary is the practice or condition of participating simultaneously in more than one serious romantic or sexual relationship with the knowledge and consent of all partners..

What we are not is swingers or cheats. No-one is fucking anyone else behind anyone else’s back. We aren’t inviting random people into our bed all the time. We are all in a committed relationship, no different to any straight, monogamous couple. It’s just that there’s three of us.

Polyfidelty is another term for what we have. We’re a triad, if you will. A delta.

It’s not something that was planned. It’s not something either Samantha or I were aware of being or of having any interest in. As my son asked, it’s not the reason I got divorced from his mother. It kind of just happened.

Samantha and I have have been in a relationship since 1999, and we have been married since 2004. Lucy and I met in May of 2010. We had sexual bdsm relationship for a couple of months1. She knew I was a married. Samantha watched a number of times and joined in. A few months later, Samantha confessed to me that she was developing feelings for Lucy – and I was incredibly relieved because I felt the same way. We sat down and talked about it, just the two of us and then with Lucy. 6 months later, Lucy moved in with us.

It’s not easy. Like any relationship, hell like anything worth having, it takes work. We’re still discovering new ways in which we work together. For example, since I retired, Samantha has admitted she’s jealous of the amount of time I’m spending with Lucy (Lucy does not work for a number of reasons and so we’re both home all the time) so I’m aware we need to spend more time together as a couple. We haven’t worked out the finer points yet, still a work in progress. But it’s a new situation so we’re growing and learning into it and from it

1 the BDSM aspect of our relationship is something I’m planning on writing a post about as well.

I Really Should Know Better

My Lady Samantha was less than impressed with the outcome of the rugby yesterday. Both by the fact that Wales lost and by the fact that I was ‘gloating’ over England’s win. If anything I would say she was sulking which might I also say was completely adorable. I do of course know better than to tell her so, at least while she’s still actively doing so, though I will kiss the pout off her face.

Her response to losing to England was to take it out on me, specifically on my butt. There’s no delicate way of saying it really – she spanked me. Continue reading I Really Should Know Better

Write What You Love

Thank you everyone for your tips and advice on my last post. I definitely found it helpful, and if anything it just reaffirmed what I already suspected.

Write from the heart, write about what I want to write about, write about whatever is in my head, write about what interests me, write about what makes me happy, write about my life.

So what does that mean? what interests me and makes me happy?

My wife and girlfriend. Polyamory. My son. Books I read, music I listen to, movies/tv I watch. Science fiction. Superheroes (Marvel and DC). Football. Fishing. Gardening. Astronomy. BDSM.

I’m not completely sure how any of these are going to translate into posts but I’ve also been told to not think so hard about, just ‘put pen to paper’ and ‘dont expect perfection on page 1’

All food for thought and I’m interested to see how it all plays out

I have however been working on the title for this thing. Instead of being a bland Jack’s Journal, I’ve now got a name of Flying To The Stars:Adventures in Space, Time, Polyamory, and Fishing which I really do like. I’ve also got a layout that I’m much happier with.

One step at a time. Perfect won’t happen on page 1.

Harder Than I Thought

This blogging thing is certainly more difficult than I anticipated. Don’t get me wrong, I’m enjoying it but the more I learn the more I discover I don’t have a clue.

I’m not happy with the title of my journal. Jack’s Journal. Yes, it’s very ‘does what it says on the tin’ but I don’t feel it fits and I don’t know what else to call it. How do I go about choosing a name for this thing? Something that reflects who I am and what I’m writing about.

I’m not happy with the layout of this site. I like it enough but again I’m not entirely sure it reflects me same as the name.

Topics to post about. I have no idea what makes an interesting post. I’m pretty sure though that ‘Today I took the dog for a walk, read my book, watched some TV, ate dinner, had great sex, went to bed’ isn’t exactly exciting. I do read a lot and thought about maybe writing reviews but I have no idea how to write a book review.

So this is where I ask for your advice: How do I come up with a better name and how do I know what to write about?